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  • John Newstead

Robin's dog blog - part 14

Updated: Apr 1, 2020

Diary of Robin, the lhasa apso, written entirely by Robin himself with a teeny bit of help from his human dad.

Today is 6th February 2018 and it’s exactly a year since I came to live with the Newsteads. I’ve changed quite a bit as you can see from the re-creation of my first portrait photo. Dad even insisted that Mum wore exactly the same boots and jeans for the occasion! And now for part 14 of Robin’s dog blog, which starts off in early December last year with an evening walkies.

An interesting find presented itself while out for walkies with Mum this evening. Everything was perfectly normal and uneventful until I spotted a small penguin toy just lying on the path. ‘Avin’ it, I thought to myself, so picked it up and carried it all the way home. It was only once back in our kitchen that Mum saw my fortuitous find but, annoyingly, she removed the penguin from my grasp. My Penguin! Finders keepers! Dad took a photo of MY penguin and put this notice on Facebook.

Several people have commented about the penguin being a McDonalds toy from a happy meal, so I’ve named him Ronald McPenguin. Mum says if no one claims Ronald McPenguin we can keep him after six days, so I’m keeping my paws crossed.

We went for a walk along the beach today at Happisburgh, but the access was closed because an angry storm had eaten up the slope down to the beach. But it was OK because we found a huge puddle instead. Dad tried to get me to walk through it for some ripply dog reflections. This is my 'forget it pal' look.

I’ve enjoyed today very much and am hoping that all days will be like this from now on. It was called Christmas Day and involved a very early start and a trip to Beccles, which is where my human brother Tom, my best mutt-mate Bruno, Beth and Alfie the small person all live.

Beth’s Mum Lezlee was there too, which meant plenty of bonus cuddles for me, along with loads of presents. Unfortunately none of these were for me, which was a bit annoying, but I had a great day nevertheless, doing my usual chasing stuff with Bruno, and confusing Alfie the small person, who spent the day dressed as a mini Santa. When we got home I received my presents, including a Christmas carrot. I like Christmas.

Ronald McPenguin has not been claimed despite having over 70 shares on Facebook, so as far as I’m concerned he now belongs to me. However, he still lives on a shelf in the kitchen. This is incredibly frustrating.

I have a new look. A sneery look for when I’m not sure what’s going on, which is quite a lot of the time. This new look involves me showing a few of my lower teeth and adopting a slightly tilted quizzical look.

Great news! Nobody has claimed ownership of Ronald McPenquin so now he’s mine and I love him. Not in the same way as I love Mrs Bunny, of course, he’s far too small for that sort of thing.

Toby likes catching birds.

Toby’s decided to be a bird.

Be like Toby, make like a bird and catch some birds.

Only it doesn’t work like that coz if there’s a stinking great cat on the bird table the birds won’t come. Stupid creature.

It’s been a woozy sort of Thursday so far. After my early morning walk Mum released me from my lead and harness, or so I thought. I bounded into the house, or at least I would have done if both my front legs had been free. Three of my legs were indeed completely free, but the speediness of my back half coupled with a complete lack of movement in one of my front legs resulted in a perfect ‘arse over tit’ and a heap of very wiggly and confused dog on the door mat. A little later on Dad opened the back door so I could have a run around outside, but my attention was caught by the packed lunch he was preparing. The back door sometimes slowly shuts all by itself so when I decided to abandon a packed lunch lunge I turned and ran straight into the door. All this and its only 8.30am!

We’ve gone on a short winter holiday to Centre Parcs. That’s me, Mum, Dad, Tom, Beth and Alfie the small person, who is my four month old human nephew. There are squirrels and loads of them, just like my squeaky squirrel at home. I aim to catch a few while I’m here just to compare squeaks. Shouldn’t be too difficult because they come right up to the window and don’t seem at all worried about the presence of a frenzied barking Lhasa apso. Just as well because that’s how I’ve decided to approach all this woodland excitement.

These squirrels are proving to be a little on the pesky side. Teasing me when I’m stuck indoors, and running up trees as soon as I’m within striking distance. Very frustrating.

My best mate Bruno is not only my bestest friend in the whole world, he’s my mentor, idol and hero. I hang on absolutely every word he barks, Can you tell?

I need to refer to my contract. Is this sort of thing really necessary? Honestly, I didn’t sign up to this. It’s not the outfit that bothers me – I’m sure I look amazing in it – it’s the fact Alfie the small person is dressed up as a super hero and me as his assistant. Me. Assistant? No way, I should be the super hero. This is outrageous. Note implementation of the sneery look.

It seemed like such a great idea at the time. Mum was on her mobile, Facetiming Beth and Alfie the small person. I’d recently had my tea, which Mum had produced from its usual place, but she’d left the pantry door ajar. That’s when the idea struck me. I sneaked into the kitchen, prized the pantry door fully open with my nose and gently helped myself to a sachet of delicious meaty Pedigree Chum chunks. Not easy as they’re in a box behind Toby’s food. Then came the tricky bit – to get past Mum. I know I could have just dived in there and then in the kitchen, but Mrs Bunny was in the lounge and she was going to be really impressed with my ingenuity and canine dexterity. Stealthy sneak through the dining room and hallway complete and the finish line was reached with some quick sachet nibbling. At this point Mum finished her conversation with Beth, so I kept really quiet. In hindsight this was a mistake because Mum knows that if I’m quiet I’m either asleep or up to no good. When she discovered that the latter was very much in full swing, me and Mrs Bunny has most of the sachet contents over the lounge carpet.

It’s been exactly a year today that I came to live with the Newsteads, and what a year it’s been with lots of changes, mainly to puppy-pee flavoured floor coverings. I’ve learned loads about how to manipulate human beings during that time and here are my top three tips:

  • I’m often asked to do tricks for a treat – sit, down, up (standing on back legs), shake paws, high five or roll over. If Mum or Dad are eating something interesting I can occasionally acquire some by going through my entire routine of tricks without being asked, finishing off by high fiving their leg. Works most of the time.

  • If I don’t want to go for walkies I just sit down so they have to pick me up or drag me down the road in a way that wouldn’t look good if someone put a video on Facebook.

  • When I’ve broken something or made an unpleasant mess somewhere I just look at the cat in a horrified way. I still get the blame most of the time, so this tip does need some further work to fully hone the skill.

So that's it for another Robins Dog Blog.

Thanks for reading and see you next time.

Lots of Love


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