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  • John Newstead

Robin's dog blog - part 10

Updated: Apr 1, 2020

Diary of Robin, a lhasa apso from Norfolk!

I’ve been back to the dog groomers, but this time I was a brave boy and the ladies were able to give me my first full hair cut. The scruff-look has now gone, replaced with a streamlined new me. I’m even more super speedy than before which means poor old Dad has absolutely no chance of catching me. Mum was a bit concerned that I’d no longer be able to get myself completely covered in leaves and bits of garden mess, but she needn’t have worried because I can still do that really well.

Deliberately staying outside in the garden when I’m meant to come indoors can be fun, especially when Dad chases me around the patio for ages, getting increasingly annoyed. However, the sneaky old git has found a new and highly effective way of getting me indoors. He’s discovered that if he closes the back door and pretends to shut me outside all alone I’ll get scared and will miraculously appear nervously at door within three seconds. This is unfair and unsportsmanlike behaviour. Bring back good old fashioned chasing.

When I arrived at 19 Norwich Road there were a number of things that Mum and Dad were very clear about. Things that I would definitely not be allowed to do, like getting on the settee. That lasted a couple of days. Not being allowed tit bits of food when people were eating. That lasted maybe a week or two. Always being fed after Toby. Annoyingly Toby still gets his breakfast first but that's something I'm working on. But the thing that Dad was very clear about was that he wasn’t going to allow a dog to sleep on his bed, and that’s how it was for four and a half months. But then last night I put my parts on until eventually Mum brought me upstairs for the most wonderfully snuggly night of my entire life. Sorry Dad, that’s how it’s going to be from now on old chap! If you don’t like it the spare room’s at the end of the landing.

My cage was put into the back of Dad’s car this afternoon, along with some of my toys and lots of other stuff. And then off we went on a much longer than usual car journey. We've gone on a short three day holiday to the seaside in the next-door county of Suffolk. The beach here is much more stony than the one near home, but what it lacks in sand it more than makes up for in rabbits. Real life rabbits, just like Mrs Bunny, my special toy that Mum forgot to pack. If only I could catch one of the bunnies I could have some real seaside fun! Sadly the real bunnies are a bit too speedy for me, but never mind, because my human brother Tom, Beth and my best mate Bruno are here too, so it's going to be great anyway.

I’m absolutely exhausted after a day running around on the beach with Bruno. We chased each other through the dunes and I splashed around on the edge of the sea.

Then Mum and Tom attempted a game of tennis but they hadn't reckoned on the ball skills of Robinger Federer and I thrashed them both in straight sets.

Up and about early this morning for a walk along the beach with Dad in the bright morning sunshine. Just me, Dad, breaking waves and nothing else. A perfect start to the day with no pigeons to distract my attention. Dad said there was one but he was lying because I’d have sniffed it out. There was definitely no pigeon.

Then later that day we walked to the pub for a relaxing drink outside in the sunshine. Dad set up his camera for a family selfie, but just at the critical moment something interesting happened in the direction of the pub – some people were eating food, so I looked at them instead of the camera just in case I could assist with any dropped chips.

I haven’t discussed bodily functions recently, but there has been an important development and an unfortunate incident. The important development is that I can now do big boy wee wees with a cocked back leg. It’s great weeing like this and I find it so enjoyable I wee up every post I pass. Gate posts, fence posts, lamp posts, sign posts and posts of many other types. Hedges, bushes, walls, gates, yellow flowers, other coloured flowers and garden ornaments. Mum washed the entrance hall curtains today, which had nothing to do with me. OK so I might have wee’d up the entrance hall curtains. The unfortunate bodily function-related incident occurred today when out for walkies with Dad. When you’ve got to go you’ve got to go, and I needed to go as we were in the middle of crossing a busy road. Dad evaluated the unfolding situation and decided to scoop me up mid-poo so to avoid us being run over by a fast approaching car. We made our way to the safety of the pavement with bits of poo plopping out of me.

What a peculiar day it’s been. A perfectly normal beginning followed by an unwelcome middle, all rounded off with an extremely fuzzy ending. It all started off just fine with a leisurely breakfast and a quick chase of my cat brother, Toby. I was then scooped up and popped into the car but not for a trip back to the seaside, just a short drive to the vets. It was not long after my arrival that the fuzziness commenced and remained with me for the rest of the day, and with it a strange feeling that something wasn’t quite right. It may have been the ridiculous plastic cone collar round my neck but I had the distinct feeling that something was missing.

I awoke this morning still feeling rather groggy, a situation not helped by the continued presence of the large plastic cone shaped collar. I attempted to lose it without success, and annoyingly despite my best efforts to point out my desire to have this offending item removed Mum and Dad seemed completely oblivious to my distress.

The last few days spent saddled with my cone have been both uneventful and thoroughly miserable, mostly spent bashing into things, scraping the backs of peoples legs, unintentionally scooping things up and pushing my food bowl into inaccessible corners.

Great news! After a re-visit to the vet today I have been released from the cone collar. After we returned home I enjoyed my freedom with a spot of tea. I then collected Mrs Bunny and took her into the lounge for a spot of love making on the carpet, but somehow didn’t feel in the mood. Definitely not normal for a Wednesday. Had a quick sniff of my undercarriage area, and that’s when I realised. MY NUTS ARE MISSING!

Having re-checked the nut situation several hundred times I can definitely confirm they are missing so I’ve decided to offer a reward to anyone with information leading to their safe return and re-attachment. Please share this poster so my nuts can be found as soon as possible. They’re small and hairy and roughly the same colour as me – please tweet #findrobinsnuts if you see them.

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